Etienne Valk's Ode to the Obvious: A Symphony of Conference Clichés
Are we ready for a new Western canon? The stakes are high in music, with many players battling to determine what musical output and processes should take centre stage. Streaming as music’s flawed… | Etienne Valk
Verdict
Etienne Valk invites us to a symphony of empty profundity and borrowed authority with the mesmerizingly vague claim that 'music feels as essential as ever.' This bland observation offers all the insight of a soggy paper towel at an art critique. He lures us into this concert of clichés by dubbing streaming as music’s 'flawed mainstay'—a revelation so groundbreaking it might just induce narcolepsy in anyone who’s read any article about music since 2010. Then, of course, there’s the obligatory genuflection before the altar of borrowed prestige—the mention of Music.Next conference and BumaStemra, where attendees apparently wore their hearts on their sleeves. Alas, this is less an avant-garde performance and more a tired recital played on an out-of-tune LinkedIn piano.
The author hints at personal struggles with audience engagement while framing it as a learning experience.
References to the Music.Next conference and BumaStemra lend credibility but overshadow original insights.
'Music feels as essential as ever' is a cliché devoid of specific analysis or actionable insights.
While advocating for balanced rights, the author relies on industry jargon without clear alternatives.
'I’ve written some of my prepared input' serves to promote personal work rather than provide fresh content.
'High stakes', 'wearing their heart on their sleeves', and similar phrases saturate the text.